How can I feel connected, healthy & purposeful?
For me, this question pretty much covers what I need to feed my soul. And, I love that instead of asking WHAT I need to feel this way, it asks HOW. The question puts the emphasis back on me. How can I find the ways to make this happen for me. Another way to think about it, what practices do I need in my life to feel connected, healthy & purposeful? There is a song I love from my kids’ music school. The lyrics say I don’t sing because I’m happy, I’m happy because I sing. The practice comes before the good feeling. This is not a chicken and egg situation. Fleeting emotions come from things we try and acquire or something someone bestows upon us that makes us feel a certain way, someone’s positive attention for example. These emotions can be taken away in the same way that we can receive them without a lot of effort. The big feelings, the ones that make life so beautiful to live, these come from practices. I extend this to so many aspects and aspirations in my life. The practices I do make me feel the way I feel and if I develop them into habits, that’s when the big changes happen. This can work against us too when negative practices turn into habits. I recently heard Jon Kabat-Zinn (an amazing master of mindfulness) share the statistic that we check our phones on average 260 times a day. Whoa! That’s a lot. Another moment where I seriously question when someone tells me they don’t have five minutes a day to meditate. How do we have time to check our phones so often? This is a practice that so many people are doing so often, and for most it is subconscious and negative. We know what our phones bring out – anxiety and a sense of lack from social media, depression, anxiety, and hopelessness from reading the news on scroll. I pick up my phone without even thinking about it and even subconscious practices can change our lives when they become habits. So, how do I choose the practices that lead me to connection, health and purpose and skip the ones that hurt me. Instead of getting overwhelmed with habits, I start with the often small practices that lead to the change. Five minutes of meditation, an outdoor walk, a glass of water. They are simple, they are free, they are really impactful practices in my life.
The specific practices that work for me may not work to you. And some, like a consistent and sufficient sleep schedule, are universal. Movement, meditation, rest, and time spent outdoors are ones that I believe in for everyone.
I love to help clients find the individual practices that fit their lives and make them feel the way they want to feel. Identifying the practices that work for you and the ones that hurt you is a great place to start. Meditation is a great place to explore this. Next is the discipline to practice them regularly. Making the time, sticking to it, it’s the real work. And if you’re telling yourself you don’t have time for a simple practice that makes you feel really good, know that you can choose to check your phone just a little less so you have time for something new. I’m certainly going to try.
If this sounds like it’s too good to be true or just overwhelming, get in touch. I love to help clients identify the practices that serve them and turn those practices into habits for life. I’d love to hear more about your journey!
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